it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
