I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
