Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
