if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
