I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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