Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
apparently the secret to your success is patron
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
