...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
