dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
