He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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