Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
