You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
