Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
