I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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