Soap is not a condiment
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
