first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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