Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
