then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
