Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
