She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
