It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
