no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
