So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
