Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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