You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sorry my hands just texted you
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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