Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
