Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
