omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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