god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
