I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
