but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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