I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
