Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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