Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
