Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
