1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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