No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
