lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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