Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
