using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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