I heard we made out
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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