Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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