I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
