We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
