I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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