Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
