____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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