it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
