I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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