At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
