I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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