Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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