He kissed a someone with a penis
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
