I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
