nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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