So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You made out with two different species that night
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
