Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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