You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
