im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
