he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Mom said you looked used
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
