Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
