I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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